Mini-Review: 300

Awesome movie. Had a couple of very minor quibbles, but otherwise, it was great. Go see it.

And, no, I don't feel like taking the time to give reasons as to why I liked the movie. Just go see it. You'll enjoy it. And if you don't, well, then I guess you have no soul.

Saved by the Bell...Witch?

OK, that title doesn't make any sense.

Anywho, I'd seen the trailers for American Haunting and it looked interesting. I was thinking maybe it would be a good ghost story, like The Others (which I highly recommend). I looked at the movie web site and it talked about the "true story" of the Bell Witch, so I looked for that on Google. There are a number of sites dedicated to the story which led me to believe that the movie would be entertaining (and I haven't seen anything with Donald Sutherland in awhile). So I talked with my wife and we considered seeing it.

Praise be to Jehovah for the Internet.

I decided to check out the reviews for the movie, and holy crap were they bad. Rotten Tomatoes, for instance, gave it 14%. Then I went back to the Yahoo movies page (I use Yahoo to check for movie times) and saw something more horrifying than any 18th Century witch: The movie was directed and written by Courtney Solomon. This is the suckmeistre that gave us...yes, the Dungeons & Dragons movie.

Then I read a synposis of the movie by someone who saw it and they revealed that the movie was nothing like the "true" story of the hauntings. I won't give away any spoilers, but the story in the movie is apparently nothing at all like the legend. And the movie version sounds like a heaping pile that even Uwe Boll wouldn't touch.

So, instead we went to Mission Impossible 3. Actually an entertaining movie, despite Xenu the Couch Jumper. Crazy freakazoid off the set, but the guy's still a good actor. And this movie was directed by the guy responsible for Alias and Lost.

Other movies we plan on seeing this summer, if anyone cares:

X-Men 3: I'm not a superhero fan, but I enjoy the superhero movies. My wife is an X-Men fan, so we'll be seeing this. Should be fun.

Da Vinci Code: I read the book and I'll say this: Dan Brown is not a good writer. He does, however, tell a compelling story. I don't think his writing is good but I found the story engrossing, even though I was already quite familiar with the legends surrounding the Knights Templar, the Priory of Zion, and all that. I don't recall him mentioning Rennes-le-Chateau, but it's been awhile. But it'll be interesting to see how the movie goes. Word of advice to the clergy who don't want people to see the movie: Start decapitating people. That should get you what you want, at least from places like Borders...

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: The first movie was fun, this one looks like it will be as well. Johnny Depp is a little flaky in real life, but he's great as Jack Sparrow.

Snakes on a Plane: C'mon - we all know it'll suck but you gotta see it. I mean it's Snakes on a Plane!

The Muppet Matrix

In case you haven't seen this yet: The Muppet Matrix.

I liked it. It also reminded me of what a masterpiece the original Matrix was, and what god-awful pieces of crap the sequels were.

Firefly and Serenity

Awhile back I gave my opinion about a sacred pillar of the geek community, China Mieville's Perdido Street Station. I'm definitely in the minority when it comes to the book - I thought it sucked. So, what about another favorite of Nerdlandia - the Firefly franchise?

Months (years?) ago, when Firefly was on the air, I decided to check it out. Besides the fact it was sci-fi, it was written by Joss Whedon who we were all familiar with from Buffy and Angel. I ended up watching a few bits and pieces here and there but overall I was unimpressed. Like many, my overall impression was "Meh. It's like a western in space." I had a similiar reaction years ago when I saw the first Warcraft; my thought was "Meh. It's like Dune II, but fantasy."

Time went by, the show got cancelled, and forthwith from the geek community came many lamentations. I didn't really care much, since it wasn't a show that interested me. But as time went on, all I heard was praise for the show and exultations when the Firefly DVDs came out. I figured that maybe I misjudged the show and decided that some day I should check out the DVDs.

Fast forward a few months and a friend in one of our gaming groups organized an outing so we could all see Serenity, the Firefly movie. I wasn't particularly enthusiastic, but the buzz among people on-line (including a number of folks whose opinions I value) was that it was a great movie. My enthusiasm grew a bit, if only because I figured it should be somewhat entertaining.

So we saw Serenity. I liked it, but not overly so. I realized that I got a greater emotional charge out of Revenge of the Sith.

(For the people that just freaked, stay with me here...)

The more I thought about Serenity, however, the more I realized just what a good movie it was. It wasn't "epic" in the same way that, say, Sith or Return of the King were, but it was a very good movie. The thing that got me the most was that in thinking about it afterwards, I realized I could find fault with very little in the film. I had some minor quibbles, but overall the characters, story, and everything else were very solid. Now, had I been a fan of the series I'd have probably expected that. But I wasn't, so there you go. Now, granted, Sith was more emotionally exciting for me but that was primarily due to it being the prequel to a movie series that I was completely nuts over from ages 5-12 or so. Side-by-side, Serenity is definitely the better film (that's not a very high compliment, though, when you compare the dialog Whedon can write to what Lucas gives us; Serenity was at its best when the main characters were talking - any Star Wars movie is generally best when no characters are talking). I've seen both twice, but while I'm wondering whether to get Sith on DVD, I know we'll be getting Serenity when it comes out.

After seeing the movie we borrowed the Firefly DVDs from one of our friends. I realized after the first episode or two that I'd missed out; the geek masses were correct - Firefly was a great show and its demise was far too early. My wife and I are still watching the DVDs (we're only on the third disc at this point), but it's good, good stuff.

By the way, when I actually played Warcraft for the first time, my impression was: "Wow! It's like Dune II, but fantasy!"

The KODT Movie Rant...Ranter...Review...Thing

I don't recall where I ran across the link to this forum thread over at Kenzer, but I found it rather amusing. I read KODT each month but I gave up on the movie rant column a long time ago. I'm not insulted by it like some people seem to be, but for those that are - why keep reading it? I can't understand why people spend so much time on something they don't like...

Unlike Jolly and some of the others posting in that thread, I don't find it funny either. I can laugh at the stuff we dorks enjoy - gaming, WoW, sci-fi movies and TV shows, etc. But this guy just isn't funny. He sounds like early twenty-somethinger going through an angst-ridden, "everything sucks / constant sarcasm is cool" phase (I'm sure there's a better, more intellectual-sounding term for this). If it was funny, I'd read it. But it's not. So, I don't waste my time with it.

From what it sounds like, this is exactly what he doesn't want - people ignoring him. Love him or hate him, he's getting attention. The vocal "anti-crowd" just feeds into that... Anyway, my interest in talking about the subject is rapidly waning - since I just don't care - so that's that.

On the other hand, these pictures - which are from what I think is his blog - are pretty funny:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/spoonyone/6161.html

http://www.livejournal.com/users/spoonyone/8167.html

http://www.livejournal.com/users/spoonyone/9760.html

Review of War of the Worlds

As usual, potential spoiler warning. Though I don't consider revealing that bacteria kills the aliens in the end as a spoiler. That's been out there for 107 years.

Anyway, we went to War of the Worlds on Sunday. I had mixed expectations as the previews looked good but the reviews weren't so great. Overall, I liked it, but like Land of the Dead, I wouldn't have missed out greatly if I hadn't seen it. The first half of the movie was quite good and was essentially a horror/sci-fi movie. The second half was rather slow, and the ending was a tad anti-climatic, but the book was like that, too. Speaking of which, unlike the original War of the Worlds movie from 1953, this one was a lot closer to H.G. Wells original book - tripods, a ferry, the red weed, etc. I believe Morgan Freeman's narration at the beginning and end of the movie was taken verbatim from the book. They did leave out the "black smoke", however; I'm not sure why.

A couple scenes that stand out:

• Tom Cruise's character's horror when he realized the powder he was covered with was the ash of the people that had been vaporized near him.
• The scene where Cruise's daughter sees the body floating down the river...and then more bodies and more...

A couple things I have issue with:

• The implication that the tripods had been buried years ago; I found the idea that they'd been launched from Mars (or wherever) in the book more plausible, particularly when dealing with the ones that were buried under urban areas. You'd think we'd have found at least one. Also, wouldn't the aliens' technology have advanced far beyond what they had when they'd buried the tripods in the first place?
• If the EMP pulse had taken out all the electronics early on, how were the camera and camcorder the people using to film the first tripod working? Granted, they could have had extensive shielding or something like that, but I doubt it. Of course, it's possible that some devices were spared; I don't know enough about electro-magnetics to know how likely that is.

Anyway, it was a decent movie. I'd give the first half 2.5 stars, but 2 stars to the movie overall.

Review of Land of the Dead

Possible spoiler warning: I try not to get into details below, but some people may want to avoid reading this until after they've seen the movie.

So, we saw Land of the Dead last Friday. I enjoyed the movie, though I still like Dawn of the Dead (the original and the remake) more. Some of the characters where fairly clichéd, but others were pretty cool, like "Charlie" and "Pillsbury".

The thing for me, though, is that with this film the series seems to have shifted from horror to more action/sci-fi. The biggest reason for this is the fact that at the point when the movie takes place, zombies are considered to be commonplace. They aren't a horrific deviation from day-to-day life - they're a part of day-to-day life. Now, this isn't a problem with the movie itself - it's a natural progression of events; you actually saw this to a certain degree with Day of the Dead. It's still an interesting and creepy setting, but it's not really horror any longer, at least in the conventional sense.

The other thing that causes this movie to deviate from the horror genre is the "evolution" of the zombies. This may or may not be a "natural progression" of events - who knows if this would happen, or if it's feasible that it would have happened in the relatively short timeframe from when it all started in Night of the Living Dead to this movie. But given that the zombies are manifesting intelligence and, seemingly showing emotion (at least for "Big Daddy"), they are no longer the mindless, relentless walking dead but something else. Something even to be pitied, if one buys in to the hippy, zombie-hugging ending (which was the only part of the movie I truly didn't care for).

Overall, I guess it's still a "horror" movie, just not the type of "horror" that a zombie movie tends to be. I have no desire to quibble over what a genre label means, particularly since such definitions are so subjective.

I'd rate Land of the Dead...um...hmm...I suppose I need a rating system. I guess I'll go with 1-3 stars, like so:

1: Didn't like it; don't waste your time or money
2: Liked it; it's worth seeing, but not a big loss if you miss it
3: Loved it; definitely worth seeing

So, Land of the Dead gets 2 stars.

Movies: Revenge of the Sith

Spoilers Warning! You have been warned. Just now. Over there. To the left.

Saw Episode 3 Friday night. My expectations were higher than for Episode 2 since the trailers looked quite good. Happily, I wasn't disappointed.

Now, granted, this is a Star Wars movie, so we're not talking about great cinema. But it is a good addition to the series. In fact, I think I may like this one the best of the six. What really surprised me was the last 30-45 minutes or so; the rest of the movie was good for Star Wars but the end was actually a plain good movie. I was surprised since I didn't think Lucas was capable of that. But the action was good - Anakin versus Obi-Wan, Yoda versus the Emperor; the dialog was limited (which is good - Lucas can't do dialog and he can't do romance); and the story elements tied nicely into the original trilogy, including the scene showing the beginning construction of the Death Star. Seeing Anakin/Vader first walking in the new suit was a little humorous (my friend Josh uttered the obligatory Frankenstein reference), but only because of what we're used to from the "mature" Darth Vader in episodes 4-6. Further comments:

Mustaffah, or whatever the Lava Planet was Called: While this was a great place for a dramatic battle, I would think the heat and the poisonous fumes from the magma would make it a tad difficult to survive there, much less have a lightsaber battle. Of course, the laws of geology may work differently on that planet.

Yoda and Chewbacca: The prequels are all about tying things in from the past into the original trilogy, but the idea that Yoda and Chewbacca is a stretching it a bit. You'd have thought that Chewbacca would have mentioned something to Han at some point, who then would have told Luke about it.

Yoda versus Darth Sidious: Seeing the Emperor actually wielding a lightsaber and fighting someone was cool, particularly since he was fighting Yoda. An iconic battle, I guess. Whatever, I liked it.

General Grievous: If you're a cyborg, why wouldn't you encase what's left of your internal organs in something that's, oh, solid? A few metal bands aren't much protection for your heart and other remaining tissues. A cool character, but a little hard to believe.

In any case, my complaints overall are fairly trivial. I enjoyed the movie.

New Decree

Henceforth, a story line involving a evil plot perpetrating by angels who are jealous about mankind's relationship with God is hereby forbidden. It's been done. Especially if it involves Gabriel.

I mean, give the guy a break. Why is it always Gabriel? Why is Michael untouchable? And what about Raphael - he seems like he's due. And don't get me started on Uriel - he gets absolutely no love...

That is all.

Now, A Zombie Apocalypse Highlander Movie Would Rule!

Just saw Highlander 4 this weekend. Yeah, I know it came out years ago, but I never got around to seeing it until now. Unfortunately. Holy crap, does that movie suck. It's not as bad as the mythical Highlander 2 is supposed to be*, but it's pretty damn close.

Now, I picked up the unrated version of the Dawn of the Dead re-make. That should be decent; I enjoyed the theatrical release. Though I hope that in the coming Zombie Apocalypse (and I know it's coming; my prophetic dreams say so**), we get Romeroan zombies (ala Night of the Living Dead, original Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead) rather than those new, 21st-century zombies (Dawn of the Dead re-make, 28 Days Later). If the latter, we're screwed. If the former, I really don't think the end of the world will come as it evolved in Romero's films (which I enjoy, don't get me wrong). I think Shaun of the Dead (which I liked, though I have mixed feelings about the comedy/horror genre mixing) did the ending right. For criminey's sake, they're slow. We can outrun them. And shoot them. Or put them to good use as free labor.

Of course, in that case we'd have to contend with some extremist group like PETZ - People for the Ethical Treatment of Zombies.




*: I've always wondered why the second Highlander movie was numbered "3" rather than "2", but people claim there was actually a HL2. Supposedly it had ridiculous references to the "planet Zeist" and lame skateboard-like flying-wing guys and a global shield or some such, but a movie that bad simply cannot exist. I must believe that... Even Sean Connery's presence didn't help...er, I mean so I've been told. HL2 was to Connery what that steaming pile D&D Movie was to Jeremy Irons. Anyway, in conclusion, there is no Highlander 2. Nope.

**: Unfortunately, they've varied between the Romeroan style and the modern versions, so I can't say which are coming. In one dream, in fact, they ignored you completely unless you started bleeding, and then they pounced on you - sort of like sharks, but without the water and with the whole animated corpse thing. And no, I don't think I need treatment. Yet. If I start seeing the Elder Sign in my dreams and sunken cities with non-Euclidean architecture, then we'll talk...

Hot Puppet Sex

Of course, I'm referring to Team America: World Police. Stupid, nonsensical, ridiculous movie - I haven't laughed so hard at something in years (12 years, by my reckoning). Highly recommended if you aren't expecting anything with any ounce of seriousness.

Also, if you find it offensive because it bashes the right-wingers or because it bashes the liberals (and it does both), get over yourself. It's a movie. About puppets.

Villages and Other Animals

Another post! Finally!

I remember when I found Blogger, and thought "Hey, this is exactly what I'm looking for! I can update my website frequently and have it auto-archived as well." I guess "frequently" is a relative term... Of course, I've always intended to use this blog primarily to post gaming-related stuff, rather than as a soapbox to rant about life's problems, politics, etc. We all get plenty of that everywhere else (especially politics). I do have lots of gaming-related thoughts, but I need to find the time to write them down. More, at least...

Speaking of gaming, a word of advice to PDF publishers - go easy on the Photoshop/Paint Shop Pro effects for your products' covers, particularly with funky stylings for your titles. It's cool that you can do shiny, beveled text so easy, but going overboard takes away from the attractiveness of the cover. I may be guilty of that myself, but I'm trying to get better. At least no one is using the "Page Curl" effect (as far as I've seen).

So, we saw The Village tonight. Remind me to avoid late-night shows on opening night; we did that with another movie recently (don't recall which), and apparently those are the biggest magnets for people who like talking throughout the movie as well as those who haven't figured out how to switch their cellphone to "vibrate". Or turn the damn thing off - I seriously doubt you're going to get a vital call in the middle of a movie. I'm pretty laissez-faire in general, but I fully endorse cellphone blockers in movie theatres (not in the lobbies, but in the theatres themselves). I really wish people would have more consideration for others, but it's obvious they don't. So, the Iron Gauntlet of Justice must come down...

But, I digress. I have to say I enjoyed the movie, and there were a number of scenes that Shymalan...Shyamalan...um...M. Night did quite well. Two that come to mind are the one with Noah and Lucius (you know what I'm talking about), and the one with Ivy towards the end (I think you know what I mean...I'm trying not to put any spoilers in). I also may have noticed a very subtle but - if my suspicions are correct - very cool characteristic of the town elders. The ending, like all his movies, had a twist (there were a few twists in the movie, actually), but I can't say I liked that part. I figured it out about half-way through the film, but I had hoped that what I suspected wouldn't be how the movie ended, though in fact that's what happened. It seemed too contrived. I'm sure exactly why, but I'll try to explain below (the text is white so highlight it if you want, but if you don't want the movie to be spoiled, wait until after you see it).
[Edit: Apparently my background is not quite white, so you can kind of see it if you look hard - try not to! You've been warned!]










I hated the fact that the village was actually in the modern world (though I like that they explained away how no one saw planes flying overhead). But, ironically, I thought it would have been much more sensical if this hippy commune had been started in the late 1940's, after World War II. I.e.; some of the founders were veterans who were horrified at what they saw in Germany or feared what would transpire after Nagasaki and Hiroshima. This would have put the "present" in the 70's or 80's, and maybe would have been too circuitous for modern audiences. I guess just the idea that the world of the 70's was too much for these people doesn't seem as plausible to me as something as epic as World War II. Doesn't make sense, I realize, but that's me. I also am aware of the "9/11 overtones" that people attribute to the movie as well. Doesn't change my opinion.

In any case, it was still worth seeing. I liked it better than Signs, though I still like that movie, too. Sixth Sense is probably his best film yet, though I didn't see that until after I'd found out its secret, so my opinion is based on hindsight.

In other news, a web update is coming on Sunday. I could do it right now, but I don't want to put out the August issue of the Chronicle before August.

Keywords: weblog, PDF, movies

Friday Ramblings

My wife and I went to see Van Helsing earlier this evening. We found it entertaining, though we weren't expecting much. It's not really a serious movie, it's more of a "fun" movie. Even so, there were still a few things that bugged me (and yes, that's despite accepting the concept of vampires, werewolves, a James Bond-style Vatican monster hunter, etc.).

I also recently finished watching the Penn & Teller: Bullshit! Season One DVDs. Most of what they covered was stuff I already knew, but I did learn a few new things and they were entertaining in any case. If you like P&T, or are a skeptic about things (ranging anywhere from alien abductions to consequences of second-hand smoke), I'd recommend it.

Finally, I had the day off today, and after I got up (12:30 pm or so - I'm not a morning person) I finished the "Almanac" PDA app I've been working on. I'll be uploading it to the site soon. It's pretty much tied to Mythosa, but it might be worth looking at and getting some ideas from. As I mentioned, if there's enough requests, I may make it customizable, or provide a service to create customized versions for people. We'll have to see.